Feeling Better Now

Thx to Neon and Gary for reading my blog and leaving some comments, anyway
I wont show that i'm in trouble in my real life, i'll only express my feeling using this blog
If u guys just wanna know what's going on in my heart, feel free to view my blog lol
U guys may see me personally and u wont figure out what's my problem in my heart
i WONT tell u guys unless writing in this blog
I dont like to share my sad feelings and make others to have the same feeling like me
I dont like to make ppl sad, feel free to post comments

Even how down i am, I'll still keep it another part of my mask which no 1 will see that
Well, some kind of Persona i guess

A very much tq for those who celebrate my birthday with me, Eru, stephy, Yan mei, Wai Tack, Ah Pher, Jeff, Tarzan and Piggy Onn, Neon didn't show himself, u'r late, LOL, but it's ok
This is my worst and the best birthday, LOL y i said like this?

Wanna know y it is the worst? Read my previous post, this is my first time, which so many ppl celebrating my birthday, twist
Honestly, the numbers of celebrating my birthday in my life, i can count it with my fingers even i'm 20 now XD

I'm really surprise, the first time i receive a "self-made" birthday card by my housemate, an idea from eru, stephy and yan mei i guess, but it doesn't matter, the whole housemate involved it

Maybe this is what they said, True Friends
anyway, TQ GUYS~~~!

Unhappy birthday

A very disappointing 20th birthday for me

1st reason, Love
She and me, no more, since she still dont know how to believe in me
I dont think we can continue anymore, even the most simple and important things that a couple should have, Faith
She still wanted to think that I'll mess around with other girls, I told her to be with me
Study 2gether in Kampar, then what's the consequences? Like now, no FAITH
I guess the accumulated time we meet each other is less than 6 month, even though we have been 2gether for 2 years
I'm confused, if she really wanted to be with me, why wont she decide to come with me, instead of choosing that stupid fucking noob school, dont even have assignment, no opportunity to communicate with ppl, that fucking school even approve and give the certificate even though the students doesn't finish the whole course

2nd reason, Family
first, my granny, her leg is injured and i really worried about her
But i dont have time to visit her, but now she's with my uncle, atleast i dont have to worry that she's alone
Next, my dad, I just been informed by him, he's working for 2 jobs
althought, the main purpose he called me was to wish me a Happy Birthday but
I'm not happy, it's not bcoz of he cant celebrate with me
It's bcoz of the present i receive, he's going to bank in some money for me, but I know,
the money i get may cause some problem to him, he may skip a lunch or dinner or whatever,
I dont want to give more burden to him, I'm the oldest, I wanted to share his responsibility
That's y i'm doing this business, it's painful to see him suffer, working so hard

Well, some people maybe have more difficult situation, mine is nothing, but still, i still have to work hard, no matter what happen, 2moro is a new day again
but still, I'm very down right now, even the closest person, she wont be able to understand what i'm facing i guess, she's from a good family
Sigh, better sleep now

Music, my living tool

Music, it's amazing, a tool that enhance my feeling
No many happy, sad or whatever, it's an enhancement and bring me to a higher lv of my feeling

Recently I jump into a gaming well and i keep swimming inside, i finally climb my ass out of this well after finishing Prototype™
Now i'm standing on the Music field again, BACK TO MUSIC!!

It really helps me alot, on everything, even though sometimes it makes my tear comes out LOL
I'll feel better by expressing my feeling through music, especially high pitching songs, something like 无辜 XD

I believe many ppl know this, but I intended to write this since i wake up this morning, dont know y LOL

Everything happens suddenly

It's been a long time since my last post, i bought a new "game station" (actually it's a new pc)
well i play alot these days, and sometimes, somethings just happen suddenly

First, my result, i never...NEVER expected that kinda of result
Besides, i suddenly become a leader, more burden, but more power XD
I'd started to feel that I'm very different now, the way I meet with ppl, talk with ppl
Sometimes I don't even wanted to talk to ppl, care about them
Now I understand deeper, what is friendship, seriously I don't take friendship so that important

And yet, suddenly, we quarrel, quarrel and quarrel again, I don't know y, I'm frustrated
Is that real? The time bomb is going to explode or what? I'm pissed
So far she still act like the same way, why can't she adjust the way she speak to me, sometimes i feel like I'm a stranger to her, I'm really pissed
Sometimes, when i talk to her, she piss me off, then i started to feel "xi beh sien"
quarrel everytime, dont know how much a month, i don't feel like want to talk to her anymore,
it only get even worse, i'm starting to be like Does, lazy singing style, being lazy..Dontennn no..michiwo, kasa wo wasureteeeee~
I don't know what should I do, end our relationship or what, i have to consider many things

Well, i suddenly know how to play the early part of Psi-Missing in piano, thx to neon for teaching,
And i just found out that my hand is too small -_-
i cant change that but i can do more practice, i'm starting to get myself involve in many things, and yes, suddenly involved

Man, life should run like this way i guess, or whatever, i dont know, sometimes everything just fucked up together

Holyshit, 0534 lol, i'm going out at 0700 for basketball, haven't sleep yet, maybe i should sleep after playing, LOL